I received a message one afternoon from an unknown number. As usual the first thing I did was to check if we had any group in common. We did; the JS Minna group. I responded to his message then he introduced himself and went straight to the point - he asked me to be a guest on the webinar he was organizing at that time. I was understandably surprised, I never expected it. I asked a few questions about the webinar, and after pondering for a few minutes I agreed, there was nothing to lose. He didn’t ask any questions about my stack, turns out he had done his homework. I sent my picture, my full name and Twitter handle as he requested.
The following week, he sent the e-flier and the broadcast message to spread the word.- but something was off. I was portrayed as a speaker on the flier. I was scared, I assumed he had made a mistake but after asking, he stated clearly that it was no mistake. I almost threw a tantrum, and he barely managed to assure me that people didn’t bite. I was extremely displeased, and restless.
Around this same time, a couple of my friends had seen the fliers, they cheered me on and encouraged me to go on with it. I agreed to speak. Although I agreed, I quickly came to second guess my decision. The theme of the meeting was "ask me any question in web". Who does that? I thought “the audacity of the tag”. I have been in tech for barely a year now, so I felt ill equipped to answer any of the questions. My insecurities began to surface, and my self esteem was at an all time low. What if I messed up? What if I give the wrong answer? What if I talk amiss? I spoke to a few friends, some were worried, some encouraged me, it still didn't help. I started asking myself why I accepted it. Who set me up? The guy knew my stack for him to ask me to talk that means he I must have been recommended by someone. I thought the tech community was large with ladies that were way more skilled than I was so why me? Then it hit me. This was the perfect opportunity to test myself. I had battled with low self esteem and imposter syndrome, written articles about it, with the hope of helping others, and now, I was asked to talk. It was an opportunity made for me. People may think it was just a webinar, but to me it was more than that. I get very emotional when it comes to tech, so it meant a lot to me. I knew I couldn’t opt out, so I prepared extensively. The Dee day came and I was extremely nervous. I prayed I wouldn’t have to talk first, but alas, the universe had other plans . I stumbled over my words a lot and my voice cracked. I took deep breaths between my sentences and I looked towards my friends for support. At least at first Questions were thrown at me, and I found providing answers to them became easier . I was stressing unnecessarily 😂😂. It was a good experience. I was pushed out of my comfort zone and I did good. The feedback I got was overwhelmingly positive and I felt really proud of myself. The webinar ended successfully, and I got invited to speak at another event.
Do not ever think you are not good enough for anything, you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, even you.